The fruitfulness of futility

What to write? Where to start? Should it be something from my life or somebody else’s experience? Do I really have anything worthwhile to share? Did I hear anything that touched my life? How have I become so numb? Where did all my writing acumen disappear?. Doesn’t God talk to me these days? Is my good times over? These were the questions that bounced back to me when ever I sat down to write.

A total emptiness, a feeling of uselessness and dryness

Jesus said unless the grain falls on the ground and dies it remains useless. But if it dies it gives forth life. A change from total futility to total fruitfulness. Only empty pots could be filled. I fix my eyes upon Jesus. He changes lives…

Break me, mould me, fill me……

A story of trust and love

Dear Friends,
It has been along time since I have written. I have decided to break my shell of silence. This interim period has been a tough period, but through those moments our loving Lord was teaching me a lot of things. Let me describe one of those moments. As I have told you I was the father of three children and now I am the proud father of four children. I love my moments with my children and they enjoy my company.I want my love for them to reflect the love of the heavenly father as much as this imperfect me can. I fail most of the time, but I guess I succeed a little considering they consider me as their most trusted pal.

So I trust my kids unconditionally. I accept their love as the greatest gift they can give and give the most of my little reserve of love to them too. Some times my kids come to me with some elaborate story which I know is not completely true. I would clarify to them that even though I am not convinced, since they say it is true, since I trust them I believe in them and that it is true. This has always worked for me because they would immediately tell me the truth or come back and confess the truth later. So my trust in them and the love of my heavenly father which kept them on the path of righteousness grew in leaps and bounds.

Then one day it happened. One of my kids broke the trust and told me some thing which was not true and stuck to it. I handled it in the usual way. I was not sure whether it was the truth or not. Then it happened a second time, this time I knew it was a lie and the matter on which this happened was a bit serious. After all my loving promptings and indicating that I knew it was probably not the truth my kid stuck to the story. I was devastated. Suddenly my premise for my tender love for my kid and the unconditional trust that I placed was questioned. I could not bring myself to accept it. I could not even bring myself to love my kid from the depth of my heart. That night I sat with my lord and asked him, is the power of love only this much ? Was my methods which I had presumably learned from him all wrong ? I threw those questions at him and sat in front of him ?

Then the mirror was turned this side,I saw my face reflected there ? I saw in that mirror a bigger denier of trust. I saw in that mirror a much bigger betrayer of love. How many times had i broken the unlimited trust and misused the freedom that our Good lord had entrusted on me ? But in spite of all that his love for me never wavered. His love for me never wavered in spite of my weaknesses, the incessant faults in my behavior, my imperfections, my feeble love and even feebler trust in him. His was a constant love and that was what drew me back to him.

I was ashamed of my own feeble love and commitment towards my Lord. I was ashamed of judging my child when I was a bigger betrayer of trust and love. So I got down in front of my Lord and forgave my kid right there. I came to the realization that I am not to love her for what she gives back to me but in spite of those. And that I will never get to love a perfect kid, but an imperfect one just like her dad on whom his heavenly father bestowed all his love and trust in. And I went to sleep that night in the loving and trusting arms of my heavenly father.

99 Ballo0ns

Just a week before my 23rd birthday here I am standing at the end of the 22nd mile of my life.A mile with well planned dividers,beautiful trees on the road side,potholes & muddy stretches.As I stand at the crossroads looking at the 23rd mile,here I am looking back and looking ahead.If you would ask me If I see a narrow 23rd mile or wider mile ,my answer would be that I dont know!I prefer a narrow road since it gives me only one option - concentrate and focus on the road ahead where a small lapse of concentration can be crucial whereas wider roads can be quite misleading,they seem to be easy but are not !Well 22nd or 23rd their will be no end on my philosophies ,they are like Navjot Singh Sidhu's laughter factory -keeps on coming,nonstop!
I am one of those kinds who hate celebrating Birthdays.Donno why I feel slightly embarrassed when people wish me on my birthday ! Cant seem to recollect from where/when I picked up this feeling of discomfort.But lately I have come to realize the importance of birthdays.I have an identity, I have a name ,I am a person and I was born on a particular day few years back.The beauty of birthday stems from the fact that it is the day of remembrance when Life was given to me as a gift by my God.Just imagining I could have been killed by my Parents on that day or even before that, as many parents across the world do ,which we call abortion .The number of Lives lost on a single day due to abortion is quite scary.I am thankful to my parents who loved me and gave me life as a symbol of their love.I am thankful to God for giving me my parents.Thank yo dad & thank you mom.....Dad hope you are doing well with God ! I at this moment wish to thank the unseen,unknown Doctors & nurses who were instrumental in bringing me into this place called - Earth !
I would like you all to watch this video called '99 Balloons'- my tribute to mom & dad !

JYPL- Discovering God Through Cricket !

"English invented cricket because they found no other way of experiencing eternity",someone rightly said this about cricket specially test cricket.I am here to share about JYPL-Jesus Youth Premier League , a cricket tourney for JY in Bangalore.Here is a brief account of what happened on that glorious day,29th of June,Sunday,Christ School Ground.

The Day was cloudy as it often gets in Bangalore and more cloudy if seen through the eyes of each and every player who was excited like a little kid to play 'The Beautiful Game'(afcouse in Indian context its Cricket not Football).The schedule for the day included two semifinal matches and one grand finale.The four teams for this tourney were JY STARS(led by Mr.Jose Sebastian),JY Heroes(led by Mr.Jacob Jose),Heavens XI(led by Dony Peter),Celestial Arrows(led by Manoj KJ).
The first semifinal was between JY Heroes & JY Stars.Stars one the toss and put Heroes into bat.It was an 8 Over tourney hence no time for batsmen to settle-in thus the very first ball is a ball equivalent to one in a slog over.Heroes batting was led by the young brigade of Jomon(an engg aspirant) and Floyd(an engg passout and a microsoft employee in the making).They both added 31 runs for the first wicket until the pace of Fr.Mathew(a Somascan Priest in the disguise of a super fast train)caught Jomon who gave a simple catch to Jerry(the teenz keeper).Floyd was the star for JY heroes scoring 30 runs of the total 59 runs.The JY heroes innnings ended at 59 runs for the loss of just one wicket(They were saving the wickets I guess).JY Stars came into bat and smoothly scored those runs under the watch ful eyes of their captain Jose Sebastian who was sitting in the pavilion looking out for new controversies and counting stars!JY stars got it right they went for runs and scored it on time to clinch the match.Cant describe how happy JY Stars were, they were on moon not stars!

The second match was the most waited one between the favourite team of the tourney Heavens XI and the underdogs(literally) Celestial Arrows.Heavens XI under their dynamic captian Dony won the toss and put Manoj KJ's Celestial arrows to bat.A decision Heavens XI will later go on to regret.CA(Celestial Arrow) had a disastrous start losing Deepu Jose on the first ball of the match,obviously the bowler was Dony.But that was just a sample of what was not to come, the CA batsmen belted the Heavens XI round the park .Fours & Sixes rained from the bats of Abhy(Hail Mary),Bejoy(Singapore)as the CA's reached a super score of 100 in 8 overs.The Highest scorer was Bejoy followed by Dony(Heavens XI)who almost created a world record for maximum of number of wides in an over.CA's were highly excited that they got into the field charged up,infact so much charged up that they took an extra player onto the field.Now they had 12 players on field -this is what we call stand apart and being counted.The match organizers woke up late to realize that they were seeing 12 people fielding and umpire Vijay Sebastian found his communication skills quite useful in convincing Dony that 20 run penalty will be sufficient to compensate for this grave mistake by CA's.CA's were cruising with some wickets until then so they decided to hand over 20 runs but they soon realized that it could be a mistake when they saw that the heavy bats of Sminu & Crispin proved why Heavens XI were the strongest team both on paper and on field.Their combined force hit some huge sixers but CA's held their lost nerves and won the match on the last ball when a four on that ball could have seen Heavens XI in heavenly glory.Bejoy from CA was declared the man of the match.Thus it was all set for a final showdown between JY Stars and Celestial Arrows both needing heavenly blessings to keep up their winning streak.
The Finals: JY Stars Vs Celestial Arrows !

JY Stars won the toss put themselves into bat and they did put in a decent performance scoring 67 .The star was Ashish(Prolife)who intially mistook JYPL to be a football tournament(as the snaps can better tell)who came to the party scoring 28 runs.CA's bowling hero was Bejoy taking 3 scalps in the final few overs.CA's came into the field to bat with just 68 on the board might have already set one hand on the most coveted JYPL trophy but Stars bowlers had other plans under the firey spells of Lijesh,Johnson and Fr.Mathew .CA's crumbled into pieces surrendering an easy win to JY stars.CA's were all out for mere 42.Aashish was declared man of the match.Thus JY Stars proved why they were the best team on that day(may be other teams have a different opinion nex time around...)Kudos to Jose Sebastian for leading JY Stars to a well deserved victory.Manoj KJ was declared Most Valuable Player for scoring 0 runs,taking 0 wickets and 0 catches ..surprised!!!!....Manoj led a team to believe that we can achieve impossible things through prayers and CA's clearly knew that they were playing only for God's Glory(Believe it or not I was part of the team ...every time Manoj KJ raised his hand in the field we knew what we needed to do..PRAY).Bejoy from CA on grounds of pure statistics was the Best Player of JYPL.

This was the more cricket part of JYPL.I will leave the pictures do the talking with regard to all the fun and fellowship part of JYPL.Have a hearty laugh-CLICK HERE FOR THE JYPL SNAPS.

Team Behind JYPL:

Tom Joseph was the main organizer of JYPL.Jacob Jose the designer of the Logo's and our true inspiration.Melvin the designer for JYPL best player trophy.Anto Roy & Rajshekhar our logistics team,Prince our Drinks organizer,Savitha made the day great with some amazing face painting opportunities,Fr.Tom our support and dad,Ann Mary our Coordinator and chief guest,Vijay Sebastian the multi-talented umpire,Rajshekhar/Sminu part time leg umpires,Floyd/Jinu/Johnson the scorers,Dony our part time Commentator,Anto Machery/Feena/Patrick/shinto our photographers,Candice/Jessy/Nisha and team our cheerleaders and drummers.,Shaju the man behind the original JYPL idea.......and the rest all who made it a great day of Joy and Fun.And Above all Our Lord Jesus Christ who brought us all together in His name- JESUS YOUTH !

and afcouse my MOM for giving me an opportunity to write this article late in the night! .....and the OSCARS goes to...................... JY STARS !

Once Again Marhaba !

'Shukran' for the honest sharing ,Aju bro.
I am not writing anything this time around, will let a song do the talking .I found it on God Tube.Loved it!



Inspiring short film with music by John Mayer sang by Boyce Avenue.
I loved this song and video when I first saw it.I understand that if we dont say what's in our heart we most certainly have lost that precious chance.This is what I am experiencing currently in my life , Just cant say what I need to say to my loving near & dear ones.

Hopefully this song inspires me and You !
Atleast inspire you all to find some time & share your 'discoveries' in this blog .

Marhaba !! and many many Shukrans

Hi everybody!!

i just stumbled upon this blog today morning .. And what a blessed morning this was!!
i was feeling quite irritated and out of touch with God( thats what was causing the irritation I guess!) and very far away.. and got surfing!!

I ended up in Orkutland staring at Jacobs page .. thats where I discovered JY discovery ...hours later ..I was in tears reading about your discoveries of Gods love in your own little ways ..
Of course i wasn't crying for u guys!!! it was just that I was so powerfully reminded of Our Fathers love when i relived your discoveries!!

Thank you very much!!! As Thomson wrote in the last post, lets share the experiences ....of a God who loves us so unconditionally and passionately that its beyond our understanding of love.

I've been in the desert for sometime now!! (pun intended) and your sharings will keep me (& others like me) nourished .. reminding us of the Lords unbelieveable love for us!!

God bless .. will be posting more here.. BTW, "Marhaba" means "Hi" and "Shukran" as you would have rightly guessed "thank you"...

Love Beyond Borders

Dear all , Greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ-the only saviour on record to have promised of eternal life.Am pleased to blog after a long break.I am happy today coz I discover today that I am not the laziest person, their are many more around here (Did you know - the last person to blog here happens to be myself !).

So I wish & pray that all may wake up soon from their deep sleep to get some thoughts flying here;Just a thought -What if St.Paul felt the need to take a break from writing the letters ?What if St.paul missed expressing His opinions due to long travels? What if I failed to tell my Jesus experience due to my busy work?what if......?

Enough of my Philosophical deadlines , let me come to what I felt like sharing here .

Last few months have been quite low with me spiritually.I have been missing my prayer groups, cell,fellowship and meetings.Just finding it as a seriously tedious task to find some balance between work and life.Please do pray for me and all my colleagues around the world with the same issues !

But the main highlight of the year that went by was SAC'07 .I am glad that I am a JY.

I am glad that I am a catholic and above all I am glad to know that I am chosen by Christ Himself to share His Love & Peace.

SAC-South Asian Conference was an eye opener.I am not in the minority ,I am in the majority of people who have accepted Jesus as their saviour. Love Beyond Borders - what a beautiful phrase......I was able to find my own borders which prevented me from sharing Christ with others.

If you have any experience please do share .Whats your take on year 2007 ? What do you hope for in year 2008 ?

C'mmon all sleeping beauties ! he he . . .

yours,

Thomachan.