Chosen to bless, not curse.

It was the diwali weekend, and there were crackers bursting all around us. By Friday evening it started getting really loud and we were wondering how our one month old Joel would react – he didn’t mind the ‘maala padakkams’ so much, but those singled-out extra-loud ones bothered and startled him, especially by night time. The moment I put him down on the bed, there would be a loud one and he would wake up. This went on for quite some time - startling him and making him wake up crying. The previous few nights had been quite tiring, as Joel couldn’t sleep because of a stuffy nose, and I was quite drained by Friday evening, just wanting to crash on the bed. Anyway I decided to wait patiently till 10 pm, because a notice in our apartment complex had said that loud crackers were not allowed beyond 10pm. So I looked forward to 10 O’clock, hoping that both of us would finally be able to get some sleep.

But it only got worse, with more and more of those extra-loud ones. I tried telling the security to request the offenders to comply with the notice that was put up, but the security guys didn’t have the guts to do that. After about 10:30, I could take it no longer. I just put the baby down on the bed, stepped out to the balcony and called out to one of our neighbours who was in action right in front, asking him to please stop the loud ones, not forgetting to remind him about the notice as well. He and his family obliged, and there was peace and calm for about 10 minutes.

Then again it started, and when I looked from our bedroom window, I could see a family down there, making all this noise and having a fun time. Again poor Joel was waking up crying and poor me was walking around with him, trying to pacify him – and the time was well past 11! Anger and irritation were welling up inside me, along with tiredness and sleepiness.

The very sight of them bursting the crackers made me so full of hatred, that I said this loud enough so I could hear myself : ‘One of those crackers should burst right on their faces and kill them’. Immediately the thought came to me, that what I just uttered was a curse. The next thought followed : ‘O, good – let me do it again.’ And this time I repeated what I had said earlier – consciously, deliberately and spitefully, fully knowing that it was a curse. It was something I had never done before in my life - and honestly, I felt proud of myself! – for a few moments.

And then came the next thought, like a slap on my face – ‘What did I just do? Can someone who knows Jesus say things like that?’ I myself was surprised that the word ‘Jesus’ could find its way to my mind, even amidst so much hatred and turbulence. I came to my senses. I closed my eyes and said St.Michael’s prayer three to four times in a row. Then I said the divine mercy chaplet, asking for God’s pardon and mercy on me. I even prayed sincerely for blessings on that family down there. I desperately wanted to reverse everything I had thought and said earlier. I could feel a flooding in of God’s peace. The crackers went on for some more time, but they didn’t bother me anymore. Joel also fell asleep.

The story doesn’t end here… The following evening was diwali celebration at the apartment complex, and Roshan had bought some no-noise stuff - sparklers and flower pots (‘kambithiri’, ‘poothiri’) – to light with the children. They went down and were enjoying lighting these with a friend’s family. One of the flowerpots suddenly caught fire and burst upon lighting - (must have been a faulty one – bcoz they are not supposed to burst), and a flame brushed close to Roshan’s face. They got a fright at first, but nothing had happened. Roshan came back and told me that it was divine protection that kept him safe - there were some parts of the burnt stuff stuck on his eyeglasses! Immediately I remembered (with shame and shock) what I had wished for the other family the previous night – the exact same thing could have happened to one of us now, if it had not been for God’s protection. It was a reminder and an example of God’s unconditional love and mercy and forgiveness….

All along the previous night, there was some part of the Bible coming to my mind, which said that we should never curse, only bless - but I had been shutting it off. I looked it up the next morning, and found it in Psalm 109:28 - ‘They may curse, but you will bless.’

It’s been more than a week now, but I have been thinking and reflecting on this a lot these days, and the verse ‘they may curse, but you will bless’ keeps coming to my mind – it says, ‘it doesn’t matter what others do, but you will do what I tell you to do’…….. ‘They may cheat, but you will not’; ‘They may gossip, but you will not’; ‘They may tell lies, but you will speak the truth’; …….. Yes, by being the chosen ones, isn’t it a privilege to be ordered around by the one who chose us? I love its commanding tone.

It is true, we have accepted the Lordship of Jesus in our lives - but now I also see how important it is to re-affirm this Lordship every single day - just to tell him over and over again that he does have the permission and right to hurry and rush to our rescue with his saving grace, when we get caught up in our weaknesses, like I was. When we entrust ourselves into his hands, he will somehow find his way through - however stubborn and turbulent our hearts may be at that time, like mine was…..

Praise God! Thank you, Jesus!