Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Discovering God in Sharon !

Dear blogging family, thomachan is back ! looks like none are blogging much these days ...anyway let me wake up !

I was busy all these days mailing people so just couldnt find enough time blogging , but was greatly inspired by the sharing of joji chettan alias Jose IBM ( I wander what He thinks when people call Him so, He has a beautiful surname-Thomas).

I am here to share an experience that I had with my guardian angels (I believe that I have two so I use the plurals).Guardian angels as mysterious as they sound to be was just part of my catholic fantasy stories few months back.I never took their existence seriously not that I have seen them now to believe but rather I have experienced God through them.
I remember few years back Fr.Tom SDB asking me to give a name to my guardian angel.I never thought much on that but still gave a name -SHARON......(you have all rights to guess where the name has its inspiration from..)

Never did I realize that Sharon would take her name so seriously ! I have one more guardian angel called 'Kitty' named just few weeks back (sorry couldnt invite you all for the naming ceremony....lol)
let me share my experience where My dear guardian angels helped me !
After joining my work I have been meeting people from different walks of life , from different cultures..etc...Not all are so comfortable to be easily accustomed to.I was not in good terms with one particular colleague of mine not that we had any differences some how through many days we fell into an habit of not talking to each other even if we are standing face to face , we dont talk ! (feels strange ..somehow).This distancing of heart between each other led to an undercurrent of discomfort in the presence of each other.I never was able to build any sort of normal relationship with this person but on the other hand I was able to build some amazing rappo with other colleagues of mine , so hardly made any special attempt to change the scheme of things .
But one day it struck me that I was not called to have this kinda attitude I had to go and speak up .I decided to approach this person and on an opportune time went up and spoke but if I go strictly by the response it was not opportune enough I guess.Things had gone too far , maybe !
So I thought to myself 'I have done my bit to improve the situation ,what more can I do' !
Now let me talk about the hero rather heroine of this story 'Sharon'.Few days after the slack response while I was speaking to my Hindu friend of mine about some stuff..topic of guardian angels popped up .I told her that I have a guardian angel, even she has one , infact all have one no one realizes their presence.She couldnt actually digest this fact , I told her that they doe exist and are send by God to help us .I continued telling her that guardian angels help you in different ways ......at that instant of time it flashed me that I could take the help 'Sharon' to talk to my angry colleague ..My hindu friend was eager to know whether 'Sharon' can do it ...somehow i was convinced ,I told that next week you will see the difference.....I did inturn take it very seriously , I seeked the help from 'Sharon'.
Guess what...to the disbelief of my Hindu friend/colleague things worked out dramatically with my angry colleague ......this person who hardly responded to my morning wishes,replied back nicely the very next week itself ..........things have started to be smooth since then....some kinda normalcy has set in our relationship.......I donno still how seriously my Hindu friend takes it..but I know she was literally surprised to see how people who hardly spoke for months , started speaking !
I know that my dear guardian angels helped to build that Bridge of Love !
O guardian angel who is in the presence of the HOLY ONE......thank you for your dear prayers ..continue to pray for me..be my guide..protect me from all evil.....be my strength..help me experience the true Love of our Lord God Jesus !

Friday, November 9, 2007

Learning again about how to love my Lord from my 1 1/2 year old son - Part 1

Dear friends in Christ, I am writing again to this blog. This time I am writing to tell you how my one and a half year old son Joel taught me how to really be in love with the lord. This started one Sunday when I was going for the Sunday service.

The situation in my life had become a lot stressful. In my office new responsibilities were being added on to me. Work on our new house was nearing completion. So week days were spent at the office and after office hours of the night were spent in running around, calling up and arranging things for the house construction. Saturdays were spent in catching up with the house construction and speeding it up towards the house warming ceremony. Sundays were spent getting the kids to catechism classes, spending the blessed time with the lord in Sunday mass and if time permitted spending the whole morning in the renewal retreat center for the adoration and then again the afternoon on the house construction work.

And on that Sunday I had to meet the contractor and finalize on some things regarding the house. So I sent my two elder daughters with our neighbors to the catechism classes. Rani my wife was not well that day, So I was rushing out so that I could reach the Church in advance before the mass and spend some precious time alone with my Lord. As I got ready and was poised to make the run to the church. Rani interrupted me and my train of thoughts and actions. She asked me, are you not taking "Kunjunni" ? Our little one is fondly called by that name. I told her, "You are not coming, I cannot handle him alone in the church, if I take him I wont be able to participate in the mass at all, I will be after him all through the service". But Rani was aghast at the suggestion. She told me "Then Kunjunni will not be able to attend mass this Sunday" !!! I was stuck by her words .. I didn't think a 1.5 year old kunjunni was bound by obligation of attending the Sunday masses. But Rani considers catechism classes, Saturday mass, Sunday mass attendance, evening and morning prayers how ever late, by all our children sacrosanct. She is the one who keeps the spiritual vessel of our home steady and on course. I am the Jonah who occasionally jumps over board and has to be swallowed by whales and spat out before I clamber aboard once more and holds steady. Although a hundred and one reasons for not taking kunjunni to the mass with me from not being able to reach in time for the mass, to not being able to spend a devoted time during the mass and him crying out loud in the middle of the service asking to see his mummy etc, flashed through my mind. But I knew none of them was going to convince Rani.

So I reluctantly agreed, got him ready in a jiffy and ran to the car with him. And there started my lesson in love.We reached the service a bit late, I had his bottle of "manjandy vellam" as kunjunni calls it (water with sugar added which is his substitute for milk)in my pocket. I took kunjunni in my arms so that he wont be running around the church and was trying to concentrate on the mass. Kunjunni was interested in the going on at the altar for a few minutes, then he lost interest and he got interested in "ME". First it was the season for a 100 loving kisses. He would hold my face in his two little hands and look at me lovingly for a few moments, then would plant a very loving and long kiss on the part of his face he liked for that instant. So for a long time I was treated to sweet little kisses starting from both my cheeks to the tip of the nose and on to my eyes and it went on. Then when he was sure that there was not an inch that he has not missed, he started to play with me, some times his attention was on my nose, some times it was on my mustache, then my ears .. Each of them got pulled, prodded. sweetly and gently bitten up on alternatively. But it was enjoyable, I was enjoying the showering of his love up on me. Then he got tiered of all these and just laid his head lovingly on my shoulder and was enjoying that. When he got tired of a position, he would snuggle up and shift to a different position. Al through this I was able to be attentive to the mass, but at the same time I was aware of kunjunni's love and enjoying it too.

Then I left him down I was getting tired holding him up. Then he started playing around me. He would hug my legs and give me kisses. He would suddenly pass through my legs, look up at me and smile at me. He would dance around me. All through this time I was his center of attention. Then he found a friend in a boy sitting in a pew near by. They both started making faces and gestures to each other and enjoying it. But all through this he never went beyond the distance of an arms length from me. Then they started playing hide and seek, he used me and my legs as a prop to hide and peep out from. I was participating in the mass fully and when ever I didn't feel his little hands holding my legs I just had to look around and there he was standing at an arms distance from me and smiling his sweet impish smile. The mass ended with him asleep contented on my shoulder and me filled with his love and my Lords love.

That was the most beautiful mass I had attended in a while and to think that I wanted to leave him behind so that I could participate in the mass and enjoy my Lords presence. How foolish was my thinking and here I was filled to the brim with Lords love and tears in my eyes.

And this was the theme of my reflection later. I will write about my reflections on this in a later posting.

With lots of love and prayers ...

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

discovering Jesus in priesthood...

years ago during a charismatic retreat, i encounterd jesus in a good confession. after the confession i felt like wistling, jumping and rolling on the floor... the happiness was indescribeable.

today as i came out after mass, some one came to me for confession. she was broken. after the confession, i saw miracle. i saw her walking out in tears of joy...

my memmories went back to my confession that liberated me. once again i felt like wistling, jumping and rolling on the floor... the only diffrence was this; years back i made my confession but today i was the confessor...

any one interested in becoming a confessor? God need more priests in today's world...

a vocation story...

a few days back i met a sister. she is old. she told me one of her experiences. one fine morning when she opened the gate of the convent she saw a little girl with shabby dress. he was sitting and munching some snacks. she had a little note pinned to her frock. the note was this, "dear sisters please take care of her, i cannot afford to bring her up". the sisters took her and she grew up with them. they educated her and got her married. she comes to holy ghost church with her husband, of course in thier own car... the story is not yet over, one of their sons is in the seminary preparing himself to become a priest... God can raise vocations out of a poor abandoned girl!

An encounter

My first encounter of discovering God was long back when I was in 10th. Though I lost faith in God later, until Jacob brought me back through JY, it was this encounter that let me live by Bible even without faith in God.

I had a small altercation with one of my friends regarding a cartoon that I had drawn. He took it from me and was not willing to give it back as I asked it for giving it to another friend who told him that his drawing is not as good as mine. Though we had no problems between us, all of a sudden he slapped me on my face. The first thing came to my mind was to thrash him as I felt offended as it was right in front of the class that it happened. Though we were standing on the dias no one noticed it as the class was almost empty since it was lunch hour.

Just as I was about to hit him back, like a lightning a thought struck me. It was what Jesus said, to show your other cheek to the one who slaps you. Well, I don't know how I did it, but I showed him the other cheek and asked him to slap. And it was then the most unbelievable thing happend. I saw tears in his eyes. And he touched my feet and asked me to forgive.

Later I stopped drawing and all such activities. I left my hometown. Once after a long time when we met he asked me a question which no one who knew me ever asked me till then: "Do you still draw cartoons." And when I said no, he asked me in a pleading voice to continue with it. Well, whenever I think of him what came to my mind was what would have happend if I had hit him back. We would have been one of the worst enemeys. But that very act made him a good friend of mine.

It was through him that I believe I discovered God for the first time.

Friday, November 2, 2007

I love you Kitty !

Recently saw a program on history channel on the life of 'Anne Frank', a girl who is associated with the human side of the concentration camp atrocities.I was literally shocked when I saw that episode,shocked coz I never knew the degree of pain these people add to suffer under the nazi regime until I saw a glimpse of the pain & suffering all had to suffer.I believe that the life of Anne frank was nothing short of saintly.I was thinking what makes a saint and the root cause I found was the simple ability to Love God's creation,Human or otherwise.Anne showed a tremendous saintly nature ;She loved Kitty-her favourite dairy which speaks on her behalf even after her departure. Is it anything less saintly to say after all suffering :“I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.” I am so thrilled to see the courage of this young girl.I imagine if I were to remain in a dark room unknown to the world without making any sound , I would have died of speechlessness ( if thr's one) and afcouse forget about me writing a dairy.I know how much I stuggle to write a article in this blog ! To build a great relationship one needs the basic ingredient of love; if one has that you can even start loving a Diary! Knowing anne thrills me ,gives me confidence that I too can be so positive about life even when I am cornered in Life with my stuggles & sufferings. Anne said: “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.” what more can I say?
I believe that we all are called to be saints ;saints who know only to love !
"Lord give me the strength to love you and all your creations just like anne loved 'Kitty'.Give me the strength to share my love with my fellow beings just as Anne was able to share her love with Kitty".