Learning again about how to love my Lord from my 1 1/2 year old son - Part 1

Dear friends in Christ, I am writing again to this blog. This time I am writing to tell you how my one and a half year old son Joel taught me how to really be in love with the lord. This started one Sunday when I was going for the Sunday service.

The situation in my life had become a lot stressful. In my office new responsibilities were being added on to me. Work on our new house was nearing completion. So week days were spent at the office and after office hours of the night were spent in running around, calling up and arranging things for the house construction. Saturdays were spent in catching up with the house construction and speeding it up towards the house warming ceremony. Sundays were spent getting the kids to catechism classes, spending the blessed time with the lord in Sunday mass and if time permitted spending the whole morning in the renewal retreat center for the adoration and then again the afternoon on the house construction work.

And on that Sunday I had to meet the contractor and finalize on some things regarding the house. So I sent my two elder daughters with our neighbors to the catechism classes. Rani my wife was not well that day, So I was rushing out so that I could reach the Church in advance before the mass and spend some precious time alone with my Lord. As I got ready and was poised to make the run to the church. Rani interrupted me and my train of thoughts and actions. She asked me, are you not taking "Kunjunni" ? Our little one is fondly called by that name. I told her, "You are not coming, I cannot handle him alone in the church, if I take him I wont be able to participate in the mass at all, I will be after him all through the service". But Rani was aghast at the suggestion. She told me "Then Kunjunni will not be able to attend mass this Sunday" !!! I was stuck by her words .. I didn't think a 1.5 year old kunjunni was bound by obligation of attending the Sunday masses. But Rani considers catechism classes, Saturday mass, Sunday mass attendance, evening and morning prayers how ever late, by all our children sacrosanct. She is the one who keeps the spiritual vessel of our home steady and on course. I am the Jonah who occasionally jumps over board and has to be swallowed by whales and spat out before I clamber aboard once more and holds steady. Although a hundred and one reasons for not taking kunjunni to the mass with me from not being able to reach in time for the mass, to not being able to spend a devoted time during the mass and him crying out loud in the middle of the service asking to see his mummy etc, flashed through my mind. But I knew none of them was going to convince Rani.

So I reluctantly agreed, got him ready in a jiffy and ran to the car with him. And there started my lesson in love.We reached the service a bit late, I had his bottle of "manjandy vellam" as kunjunni calls it (water with sugar added which is his substitute for milk)in my pocket. I took kunjunni in my arms so that he wont be running around the church and was trying to concentrate on the mass. Kunjunni was interested in the going on at the altar for a few minutes, then he lost interest and he got interested in "ME". First it was the season for a 100 loving kisses. He would hold my face in his two little hands and look at me lovingly for a few moments, then would plant a very loving and long kiss on the part of his face he liked for that instant. So for a long time I was treated to sweet little kisses starting from both my cheeks to the tip of the nose and on to my eyes and it went on. Then when he was sure that there was not an inch that he has not missed, he started to play with me, some times his attention was on my nose, some times it was on my mustache, then my ears .. Each of them got pulled, prodded. sweetly and gently bitten up on alternatively. But it was enjoyable, I was enjoying the showering of his love up on me. Then he got tiered of all these and just laid his head lovingly on my shoulder and was enjoying that. When he got tired of a position, he would snuggle up and shift to a different position. Al through this I was able to be attentive to the mass, but at the same time I was aware of kunjunni's love and enjoying it too.

Then I left him down I was getting tired holding him up. Then he started playing around me. He would hug my legs and give me kisses. He would suddenly pass through my legs, look up at me and smile at me. He would dance around me. All through this time I was his center of attention. Then he found a friend in a boy sitting in a pew near by. They both started making faces and gestures to each other and enjoying it. But all through this he never went beyond the distance of an arms length from me. Then they started playing hide and seek, he used me and my legs as a prop to hide and peep out from. I was participating in the mass fully and when ever I didn't feel his little hands holding my legs I just had to look around and there he was standing at an arms distance from me and smiling his sweet impish smile. The mass ended with him asleep contented on my shoulder and me filled with his love and my Lords love.

That was the most beautiful mass I had attended in a while and to think that I wanted to leave him behind so that I could participate in the mass and enjoy my Lords presence. How foolish was my thinking and here I was filled to the brim with Lords love and tears in my eyes.

And this was the theme of my reflection later. I will write about my reflections on this in a later posting.


With lots of love and prayers ...